Thursday, July 31, 2008

DYMO LetraTag QX50

The DYMO LetraTag QX50 label maker

I'll be honest with you consumers. THE EVALUATOR had never used an electronic label-maker until the QX50, I am thus in no position to say that it is the pinnacle of labeling technology. Even if I did the research, bought dozens of different types of label makers and found one to be their undisputed champion, few people would give a shit. There is a very tiny fraction of society that requires professional labels. Most normal people just get by with masking tape and sharpies, or they just remember where their crap is.

But this is a review after all, and if you are going to get an electronic label-maker, I'm assuming you could do worse than the QX50. I mean, just look at its website Surely these are the kinds of features that make label enthusiasts (Anal-retentive people) splooge themselves. I mean "Built-in memory saves last label?" That is so inconceivably helpful! "Well I wasn't sure if I'd labeled the accounts payable folder yet, but when I turned on the QX50 it turned out I had. Thank goodness for technology. I might have labeled accounts payable twice *shudder*."

Even with all of these staggering features, the QX50 is quite simple to use and has given THE EVALUATOR no problems. But again, why should anyone care?

Well, you may not yet know this but you can make humorous labels using a label-maker. For instance, just imagine all the possibilities of a label that said "COCK." You could slap one of those almost anywhere and it would instantly be funny. But you're not limited to using single words! You could make a humorous Pulp Fiction reference:
Or you could just make lots of toilet and sex jokes.

Label-makers can be hours of fun, in much the same way that text-to-speech programs can be hours of fun.

But with the QX50, you can put more than mere words on your labels. It also provides a set of useful symbols to make the labels more identifiable (or more hilarious). Why just write BUTTSEX, when you can write BUTTSEX with a happy face and a thumbs-up at the end?

Final Verdict:
If you and two of your friends are bored and you don't want to see the latest blockbuster for the third time, you could all go in together on a QX50 label-maker for about the same price (maybe even cheaper if you were thinking about purchasing an icee and some skittles) and have literally hours of fun involving lighthearted vandalism.

Pros:
  • The thing makes labels
  • Mildly amusing symbols
  • You can make it print a label that says "THE OWNER OF THIS NOTEBOOK LOVES THE COCK"
Cons:
  • Can't make glow in the dark labels
  • Is ultimately only as funny as you make it
  • Is not an automatic label gun like in that one episode of Dexter's Lab. That shit was awesome.

2 comments:

Srilina said...

you need to bring this to school.

Anonymous said...

Dear Tom,

You are amazing.

That is all.