DBZ Tree of Might

Hello readers, you should know that THE EVALUATOR has been on something of a nostalgia trip this summer. There's very little crime to be fought here *CENSORED* New Mexico. Thus I find myself reliving aspects of my childhood using youtube, the newly discovered netflix, and a sizable collection of VHS tapes.
Sometimes these forays into the past remain thoroughly entertaining (The Rescuers Down Under). In other instances, the passage of time has not been kind.

The subject of today's review falls firmly into the latter category. Dragon Ball Z The Movie: Tree of Might is one of several movies to come out of the extravagantly popular Dragon Ball Z franchise.
If you've been living under a rock for some decades, or are perhaps a 65 year old woman who never had children, I'll give a short summary. Dragon Ball Z is a Japanese animated tv show where dudes with super powers beat the shit out of aliens and some other stuff. The show is famous/infamous for having entire episodes devoted to guys doing nothing but yelling and flexing their whole bodies while on fire.

Anyhow, I was a fan of the show as a wee lad, and not wanting to spend my next 3 years of netflix subscriptions on the 500-some odd episodes that made up DBZ, I opted for one of the, not really feature length, films.

A few days later, Tree of Might arrived in the mail. And to make a long review short, here's what went down:

What I expected:

What I got:

Yes, Tree of Might proved to be something of a borefest, with most of the movie being devoted to scenes from nature and extremely un-entertaining hijinks involving a pet dinosaur.
Theres really only like two fight scenes, and these are quite brief and anticlimactic. Tree of Might also gave way too much screen time to characters I dislike. I won't name any names here but one of them is a talking pig.
I mean just look at this Toonami promo. It makes it look so awesome! But then again, Toonami promos could make even the dumbest shit look super cool.
Anyway, it's not all bad I guess...let's break it down.

Pros:

• Some cool badguys
• Was not interrupted by lame Esurance commercials
  
• Didn't give me a seizure
• Has a big-ass tree...if you're into that kinda thing
  

Cons:

• Not enough ass-stompin
• Vague Environmentalist Themes
• Too much stupid
  

Final Verdict: Ultimately there's only like 12 seconds of truly awesome action in an hour long "movie". Youtube the cool parts if you feel the need and move on with your life.


...god, that movie was so underwhelming I couldn't even write a very funny blog about it